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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Disgustipated.....

I can't shake how I'm feeling the past few weeks. Just so damn BLAH! I'm not usually one to slip into these states, but the recent events in the media have really taken a toll on me. Funny because it shouldn't. Nothing has changed. Life is the same in my house, your house, our friend's homes. Autism still rears it's ugly head. But this is more than that. I hate feeling this way....and I can't even describe the way I feel.

I feel dismissed. I am tired. I'm pissed off. I'm broke. Frustrated. I feel like the world thinks we are insane.

Every frigging day I add another new Facebook friend. Another parent (usually a Mom) who is struggling like the rest of us. Every damn day, I see another bunch of Autism Awareness stickers at stop lights and supermarket parking lots. Every single day someone makes a comment about my stickers, or my license plate, or my necklace. My heart is broken for them all. The checker in Publix the other day who has a brother with Autism. Or the woman Marshall's that has a granddaughter just diagnosed. Or the young girl at therapy who hasn't got a diagnosis yet for her little guy, but knows the drill already. For my crew of girlfriends here on The Treasure Coast. Women that I could never imagine life without. Some of the strongest gals I know. For my incredible Facebook family. A group of people I have never met, but am so connected with on so many levels, it's scary. You folks are what keep my head above water. Because you LIVE it. I have often said, "You don't really "get it" unless you've got it."

It's obviously not just me. We are all feeling down lately. By simply dismissing the Autism/Vaccine connection, the mainstream has, in essence, dismissed us....dismissed our children. I, for one, am not having that shit. Fuck the herd. Our children are not Collateral Damage. I know it is this funk that drives us, but dam it all to hell....I hate it. I completely fucking hate it. Our kids deserve better.

5 comments:

  1. Kelly,
    Your boys must be truly amazing to inspire such passion...I'd love to know your favorite thing about each of them (what is the one brilliant gift in their uniqueness?)

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  2. I can't imagine how hard it all has been for you Kel >3 . I've been feeling kind of yucky since we subjected ourselves to that shit show last week as well. Maybe drinks soon? I'm here for you! KNOW THAT! ha ha! ;)

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  3. It shouldn't shock you to hear this but, I think you are one of the strongest mothers I know. You make up your mind and you stick to your guns. Your strength feeds me and always kicks my butt in gear. You will get out of this funk soon, trust me........

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  4. I love you too Kelly!!! You're a great mom - your boys were unfortunate to be stricken with Autism but they got lucky in having an incredibly strong, passionate woman like you for their mother. I am in awe of you lady and proud to say I know you. Keep fighting and know that so many people are cheering you on. And longing for the day when you can say you and your boys kicked Autism's ass!!!

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